good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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