Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
