This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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