Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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