I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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