your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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