Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
