and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
i now understand why vodka
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
