I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize