It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
