I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
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Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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