ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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