she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
