wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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