Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
you mean i was at the winter classic?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
