...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
