Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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