before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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