Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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