we're chasing vodka with high fives
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize