What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
