i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
