Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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