I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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