Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
