8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
In other news, I just burned my penis
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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