I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
