She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
