i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
