i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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