I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
