When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
