What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize