There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
