Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
