"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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