your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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