She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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