please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize