he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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