Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
