My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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