That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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