Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
