There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
