Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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