Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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