You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
