and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
