Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
