Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
