Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
