i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Randomize
