awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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