she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
