idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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