Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
