thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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