i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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