You're completely useless in the revolution.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
