I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
